mistakes

seeing my elder sister taking her present at the stage for being top 3 students in class every year had made me more determined to follow her footsteps... Abah stood at the side, waiting to snap his daughter's pic on that stage.. we were happy.. back home, I helped my sister to open the present.. at that time, i was 6 years old... my sister was the only thing that i wanna be at that time..

as i grew older, i never really had the chance to get on that stage... never got top 3 in my class... i didnt get good results in my secondary school.. SPM, PMR!!! I TELL U, IT WAS DEVASTATING !!! what's worse is i couldnt follow my sis's footsteps.. i didnt have the chance to bring my parents to see me taking any presents...:'( im not that clever.. i was down.. too down.. no matter what my friend, "aku lagi kurang dr ko..".."alah ! rilex la.. 8a ok la tu.." but for me, NO! as long as i didnt get to be just like my sis, im not good...

but then, thru the years, i realise that thank God that i failed... maybe this is the best for me.. because i think if i got straigt A's in my major exam, mana la tau, mungkin perangai aku akan jadi sangat sombong ke.. i would be feeling too comfortable ke.. aku akan jadi sangat kedekut ilmu... aku akan jadi org yg sgt takut kalau org lain potong aku... OR i would have no respect to my sister.. at least skg, aku bole advise adik aku untuk ikut yana, tapi kalau tak dapat pon, at least bole tgk aku... still bole sambung belajar what.. but please, dun get me wrong, im not saying that all the successful students are bad.. im saying maybe ME MYSELF.. maybe i would become like that.. coz i think i had the tendency to become like that :P

well poeple, what im trying to say here, no matter how bad ur result is, it doesnt mean that u're stupid... maybe kita pandai ikot lain... but still, kita sendiri pon kena ada kesedaran untuk membawa diri kita lebih maju... being jelous for people who are cleverer than us wasnt worth if we didnt make any effort.. kalau dah mmg malas, cara yg terbaik adalah pk mcm mana la nanti dah besar nak bagi mkn kat anak bini.. at least kalau dah berusaha, insyaAllah Allah pasti akan tlg... then, ramai org ckp takyah pedulikan ape org kata, tapi bagi saya, KITA KENA PEDULI sbb ada sesetengah tu bole membantu dlm memperbetulkan diri kita...

berjaya tak bermaksud being perfect... berjaya kalau ikut kata aku la, getting better, manage to control your emotions of saying that u're stupid, and succeed after go thru failures :) n when u succeed, dun forget to keep ur humbleness n share your knowledge with ur friends.. insyaAllah dapat barakah :) after all, arent we studying because of that? ;)

there my doctor yanana amran :) miss u dowh !