help me!

urgh! pleaase help me! again! my phobia of writing essays has come... i dunno... i am dumb when it comes to create ideas in making essays.. whenever i get the paper, i will totally change into some kind of lil coward dwarf n my brain is like gone everywhere.... i suddenly lost my confidents.... same like what happened in my oral... i was so good during the practice but then, when it came to real, i was like hell... OMG! this cannot happen... i dun want b's for my english again! i'm through with it... i have to think about my mom, who is an english teacher... but then, i cannot forget about my pmr result... which i got b's for my bahasa (bi n bm)... urgh! i didnt expect that... seriously! that's why, for about 2 hours after taking the results, i turned into hulk, throwing all the pillows, like a wife lose her husband... kiki.. for more info, u can ask my family... i was terrible at that time... i want to change!!!!!! but how?!!!! english subject has now become my phobia.... i just realise that... perhaps, i should enter fear factor.. where the host (i cant remember his name..) will force me to write 10 essays.. n most of them are writing formal letters... argh! HELP ME! how to improve my english?!!! sabrina is dumb, isn't she?